Oops, it's been a while. I keep forgetting to do these. Yes, still working on the game where I can. I'm going to try working on some new site features in addition to my regular duties. Most of the work right now is dedicated to writing the script for the game's text.

I don't want to make 'updates' that have no real substance to them, so hopefully this will have some weight to know I am actually working on the Shrines page.

Was trying to make some new things for the site, but couldn't get it to work without it constantly changing sizes for no apparent reason.

I was talking about an internet exodus, and that might be closer to the truth than I initially thought. Google is running out of storage. For every account that is made, a good bit of additional storage is kept on that account. And there is too much storage being used up and now they are beginning to delete inactive accounts.

I suggest if you have been using alternative accounts to store data or are using something like Discord, you should migrate that storage and would want to invest in some physical data storage. Soon, that free storage might not be free in the coming future. A lot of old sites I've bookmarked are disappearing.

The internet only begins to shrink smaller and smaller as more time is running out.

By the way, if you are wondering if there is something like an official Discord group for handsigners, the answer is no, and there never will be. Things related to the site will be kept to this site. (And maybe later itch.io and Steam when the game is ready, but we'll talk about that when it happens.)

I have a lot to talk about but not enough time to make a proper update. There seems to be a massive exodus going on with the internet right now, that or a mass wave of shadowbanning because I can't find any pages that arne't already popular. As if it wasn't bad enough that the search results have FIVE separate favoritism ranks to choose for sorting type. As if I'm not already being bled dry here.

Ironically, I have doing a lot of work on scripting the game. Maybe I may have something to show off soon.

If you are wondering about the tools I use:



MSPaint

This is what I typically use to make my assets. It is very simple and has everything I need, with the pencil and zoom in close range with the best edit colors. If only I could find an alternative exactly like this.

GIMP

This is where the images go right after copy pasting them from MSPaint. I can transfer them into here and quickly remove the alpha channel and change them into index ready to be converted. This is also where scaling and stacking layers goes down. To make the pixel size bigger, simply Scale Image, and Interpolation should be set to 'None'.

ImageConverterPNG_to_XYZ

Does exactly what it says. Very lightweight program I found searching rmn forums. Can convert many files at once. As long as you did the stuff I do in GIMP first then it should convert everything.



...Is what I would say. I don't know about you guys, but I have been having a lot of trouble lately without getting errors like this. So now we have another step.

GraphicsGale

I only found out about this recently, and right now I only have one use for it. Go to All Frames > Color Depth, and click OK. Even though everything is already set to the correct things, this additional step is mandatory now for me to convert. Yeah, I don't know why but I never had problems converting through GIMP up to this point and now it doesn't work... and unbelieveably it works after going through this program.

So now I go through it like this:
MsPaint > GIMP > GraphicsGale > ImageConverter

 

 

 

 

Having some trouble right now, so I figure I might as well show these off...
(They're not meant to be naked, this is just when corners started getting cut.)
There will need to be some editing done for the ingame sprites, some of these did not convert well and did not turn out like I thought they would... Some turned out really badly. If you saw the previous update, you may be able to tell which one I was referring to... yeah.

I know people hate how it looks, I tried to make them all look unique - I think it's definitely better than the first attempt, but some just fell flat on their face and sadly that's what I have to work with. Not major edits, but some things to make the sprites look better.

 

Should I upload the full size pictures? Hmm... The color is kind of bland on most of them...
I still have a lot of enemy sprites to make but I have the opportunity to be more creative with those.

Yes, I finished all the character portraits in the nick of time, then spent the next couple weeks 'no life-ing'. Sorry.

 
(The finished artwork for 2 out of 14 characters)

I [tried to] make them with a 90s anime artstyle for the "past" world characters, and late 2000s for the future world characters, although I've never seen anyone do the robot eyes like this. Doesn't look like it all. I tried. Some of them look good (Ef and Mira are my favorites) but some just look wrong. Also, not all of them survived scaling perfectly, not even these ones. I will need to do some editing to these and the others. I need to draw the bodies for references, but for me the faces had to come first.

 
(How they look ingame)

I also wanted to make the characters have different portraits for when they go between the past and future world, to have an artstyle that matched with the times. Unfortunately, that is probably not going to be possible now. What you see are all the portraits I have finished, and my license for CSP has expired. Before I can even think about renewing my subcription, I would like to improve my drawing skills somehow elsewhere. I have been told to try paintSAI, and I have tried it but I really don't like how it controls.

 
(90s style concept for a character I will maybe show next time I am confident)

Some of them look very far apart from each other in style - that is kind of the point, but I know people hate how my drawings look. The first time drawing these characters looked much, much worse. But feel free to create your own version of these characters. It is derivative and transformative work and I'm sure you can draw much better than I can.

As for what I will be doing now, I need to focus on finding a more lucrative job, work on my language studies, move to Japan and try to get a better computer. Will it happen? Probably not, but I need to try.

Important for everyone, it seems like a lot of social security numbers and other details got leaked not even yesterday after I made the update from the other day. Don't give any passwords or fall or phishing calls, contact your bank to freeze your account.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in the last post but it seems companies are no longer hiring. At all. Cucked out of life again. My options grow slimmer and slimmer. I know that I should not be wasting my time on menial jobs and I should work on building my career... but how do I do that without money to pay the bills? My parents don't understand this at all.

I have considered maybe the idea to make some shrines on the site just so that there is actually some more to do? I know the site is kind of boring. But I don't want people to think I'm skimping out on making the game. When I am at my job, I'm not really able to work on the game, but I have a lot of cerebral ideas and designs for website code in my head that are basically done, I just need to write them and the graphics for it. I just think people would be upset at that idea because the main attraction is not available yet...

The videos I put up don't even seem to show up in the search terms. It's visible right now because it's 'new', but after a week you won't even be able to search for the videos. That's horrible.

What a sad waste of a world it has become where being the most obnoxious is the key to fame. Perhaps if I use a bunch of SEO marketing tactics and buzzword keywords to boost the algorithm I would attain success but if this is what success looks like, I will live in poverty until it kills me.

I am glad for the constant abuse and hardening my heart but at the same time I wonder if I was more naive if I would be able to take it better.

So I looked into it a bit and I am probably not going to be able to get into JET because I do not have a bachelor's degree. I only have an associate's and there's no way I would have had one even if I took all classes back in the day... or maybe it would but I wouldn't be able to get one before the year ends.

I am almost done with all the lineart for every character portrait. If it wasn't for the increase in my estimated time I don't think this would be possible and even now and I am worried I will run out of time...

I'm probably not going to use my art as a pfp, not because I don't want people toknow who I am, but because the last time I did people took that image and defaced it because I disagreed with them on twatter, and the picture was from an artist who has no idea I even exist. I don't even remember exactly what but they made it so ugly and foul looking. Now I know what it must feel like to watch vandals graffiti historical monuments. The fact someone tried to slander me over something so minute by smearing over my pfp, which was someone's else's art, is just really sad. I feel bad for the illustrator, their art doesn't deserve that.

I didn't die! Sorry if you saw the last post. But it is equally bad, because my parents are trying to get me into a new lease... I can barely afford groceries right now and you want me to sign another lease to keep me locked here for a year? This country won't even be here in a few months... I need to figure out a way to get into a JET program or get a house in Japan or something. I need to get out.

Okay, I guess August 25th is the day of judgement; the end of my subscription for CSP. Something really terrifying happened not even 5 minutes ago as of writing this. If you know, you know. Every day I worry that when I fall asleep I won't wake up. Or while I'm working I'll die. It's not suicide idealization, it's just sometimes I'm like, "This could be it... this could be the end..." That is part of what is motivating me to work on this so suddenly, but things are moving so fast I'm not sure if I'll be able to get out of here in time. Must get out...

I always wanted MS P-Gothic on the site. Hopefully it will look better on Linux but I haaven't had the chance to see. This is mainly meant for Windows. More work complete, I want to show it off but it's not quite ready yet.

If the updates seem fragmented, that is because I vetted a lot of information and pictures out of them. Because it is far too embarassing looking back on them and I don't know what impression people will get when they see them.

Not sure what I'm expecting because not even my friends want to look at this website.

Some very bad news. I ran into a bit of a glitch and as I result I had to reset my PC and with it I lost a few things, such as my graphics card and my brush settings. I still have my brushes, just not the sub tool details. I have been trying but none of my lines feel right anymore and I feel so demotivated along with the crippling weight of not having a job, and soon I will have to move out of this apartment, and my mom lost her job too... I haven't been able to work on my japanese or the game for over a year and half I think, and also the guilt of not being able to tell that to those following my game is hurting me greatly. What results is a decision paralysis where I don't know what to do.

In addition to that, I looked into it and my license for Clip Studio Paint seems to end I think in August 13th, I don't feel like checking right now but god that sucks. I must get these portraits finished before then.

Happy New Year I guess. Not much to say today.

I'm losing my creative passion...

So disappointed in myself.

Some people give rings when they want to be together.

Have you ever given a ring as a farewell gift? Wasn't intentional. That's just how it turned out.

Not only that, but I just found out some horrible news.

Someone must have had the same idea and I come to find out someone has released a game just like mine but way better and now I have no idea what to do. Do I just give up?

https://store.steampowered.com/app/2248430/

It was a nice idea while it lasted, but I think it might be time to face reality... It's been a few years and the game is still only in the building blocks of development. My work ethic is terrible. It might just be best to throw in the towel... I don't know what else to say.

I didn't start with a good base design for Hun, so this is a rough sketch (copied from a reference) to give a bit more clarity to myself.

Yesterday, I lost my assistant illustrator, and my only remaining friend. All over a disagreement about what constitutes fun. If it was just that, that would not be the issue.

"There is no reason to do that. All I said was not to resent me for saying that. I am not going to leave you over something as trivial as this."

All I had said was a flowery way of saying 'if you can't keep up with me, you're going to get left behind.'

I just want to give you some space so you can understand that.

So I have a lot of flowchart stuff to talk to myself about, mostly theoretical, but some of it is events I've tested just now and need to keep in mind going into this further on.

Next is showing how the calculation for damage would be - if it was how it was intended.

That is obviously not correct. This is what it should look like:

The story we're trying to tell is one that has more stakes to it. And whether or not that will work... we won't know until that thing is in people's hands. The story is not the main focus. The main focus is gameplay, and the story is only sparsely laid across the game in fleeting moments, but I fear people will say the story is dragging on and insisting upon itself.

Adding the date so I don't have to do guesswork every time I want to write a new update. These are more drawings/sketches that probably will never get finished considering my track record.

I have been working on a lot of sketches(traces), but not complete works... But lately I have not been working on sketches either... I am stuck. No job, and no comfortable way to work because my laptop bricked. The charger lights up when I plug it in to the outlet, but when I plug it into the laptop it goes dim. And the screw is striped and I don't have the tools to pull it out. I went to buy a new charger for $70 but that didn't work. Waste of money. Either battery is dead or charger is dead. And I can't afford to waste more money not knowing for certain. No money in private bank account so I can't order new part. I will try to work on a more rigid schedule from now on but my sudden increase in appetite in cutting into my life and my wallet. What would normally supply 3 days now only fills 2. What would last 2 days is eaten in 1 day. Pot lid is still broken so I cannot cook rice. Will buy new pot today for $20. If this does not work it will only be more money wasted but I have to try. Before I would last a month on rice, ramen and broth for 90$. Now I spend $300+ on ramen and broth alone. If this does not work I will lose my house faster than I already am. These are sad times. No responses. At interviews I have good interviews and merit. But I do not get hired. It has been a whole year since I have succeded an interview. Half a month since I lost my job. Everyone has always seen me as cheap labor or a useless mistake. So why can I not even get a job at mcdonalds. What they say is not always what they mean. Jobs sell, but who's buying?

Just a picture I drew to try out using the fill and remove dust/widen area tool. It didn't work so I had to draw in the holes.

I had created a new page for day 2, but I guess it didn't save. My birthday was the other day. I got an electric guitar. Neat. I'll try to see if I can use it to make music for the game with it. It's not really an excuse for how long it took to make this. It was going well, until I got to working on the body. You can probably tell, but when drawing the body, I get really anxious, it takes a lot of time for me decide what to even do, I have to 'borrow' many references, and in the end I still think it looks really bad.But anyway, she's meant to be standing like that. The idea is she's leaning her weight on a table or something.

But big news, I found a hidden cache of money in one of my bank accounts! I live!

It has been a very long time since I have written any pages for this, so let me be as transparent as I can and talk about the state of the game.

I lost my job (not my fault) and I am on my last drop of reserve funds. Things are looking grim and in a couple weeks I will not even have enough money for food.

This does not deter me from continuing to work on the game, in fact I have been much more active than usual, but it is troubling because I don't know if I will be able to keep working on it for much longer.

...but from the player's perspective they will only see the three cells ahead of them. I have a system in place for that, still don't have a good visual for it yet since I'm trying to fit it into the new battle system. Yes, I am also completely designing a new battle system through events because I can't stand the regular battle system! This will let me do stuff that I can't do in the normal battle system, such as having my own custom hud, skills that use HP, responsive events, animated enemy pictures, shields, percentages, and more! You know it's actually really easy to get the percentage of any number with basic math? Just multiply the maximum value by the percentage number and divide it by 100. (Example: 70 X 8 = 560 % 100 = 5.6 (Therefore, 8% of 70 is 5.6))

It is going to be a lot of work... things that SHOULD work easily are not. Classic rpgmaker. But once it does work, the roadmap for how this will all be made will be much faster, because it was going extremely slowly before. If I can get this to work... no, not if... when...

Some more progress on the game...kind of. And a couple character sprites. Trying an indexed image in hopes of reducing the line amount. Just looking at this when writing in a new entry gives me a headache.

My artwork is starting to look less and less appealing the more of these I make...

I am in quite a rut right now... I've been feeling like that for the past decade, probably longer than that. But right now it's so bad I can't even bring myself to do the things I liked to do. You lose the passion for the things that made you happy when you feel there's no purpose anymore... What am I doing here? I'm not able to get another job to pay the bills, the only thing I like to do won't make any money, and no one is even going to play it. Every day I look at my friends to be my testers, but I can't trust them to do that either. What the hell is happening?

Even when presented with a good game, or a game that follows the same vein or made by the person who made the game you liked, you don't even play it. So what is the point of working on this if noone is even going to play it? I have to wonder if making a flawed game is better than making a good one. Because people seem to equate good as boring, when put into practice, or worse, good is dumb. Whereas a flawed game pisses you off just enough that it makes you want to try again. You may have hated it, but you actually finished it, unlike that good game you have collecting dust over there. There is a quote that I'm paraphrasing with this, and that is, "a classic is something everyone knows, but nobody wants to actually experience."

Or you have people comparing games to other games, and this always always falls into one of two catagories.
- This is like _ and it is good/bad because of it.
- This is like _ and it wouldn't exist if _ didn't do it first.

Why can't the game be fun because it is fun?

Yes, I have started drawing portraits for the characters! One of my biggest worries was how I would go about obtaining these, if I would have to commission someone to do it, or cobble together some mess of assets, but at the suggestion of my girl friend (not a girlfriend, just a girl who happens to be a friend) I got a tablet and started drawing them myself. I am still not really an artist, but we have made great progress. We went from placeholder, to crayon-scribbles placeholder, to digital drawing! And the worst part is I will probably have to redraw it. (cries) I like the face, but the body just looks wrong. I cannot draw bodies...

Croiser is a fantasy roleplaying game I am working on for RPGmaker 2003. Why 2k3 and not something more sophisicated like VX Ace or MV? Well, it's the one I understand the most, and I like it a lot for the aesthetic reasons, but also because I don't know enough to code something from scratch. I wanted to do something better, but I feel if I don't make something I'll forget and it'll never happen. I tried experimenting with several game engines while going through school but I never found one I liked quite as much as tsukuru2003.

This is actually the third attempt making this game. The first time I realized too late into making it the textures were all imported incorrectly and ended up very graphically corrupt. The second time I was not satisfied with the overall game as it was, and it felt very bad and was not fun to play. But this time I feel like I'm really getting somewhere.